An internal struggle was taking place within me this week. My husband
and I watched a movie that was very disturbing. In my mind and my heart,
I wrestled with the things that took place in the movie-the reality of
brutal acts of crime and extreme vengeance.
So what I did was to move to that place I frequently go in my mind and I
ask the Lord what to pay attention to. I was wrestling with not wanting
to think about the reality of this messy fallen world and thinking at
the same time I am reading “An Alter in the World” where I look for Him
in everything. So that moved me to a conversation with the Lord that
went something like this:
Help me Lord to understand why I am struggling. I would rather not think
about these heinous crimes that go on in our world, but I also
know that I committed to you that when I want to resist something I will
turn and “lean in” and pay attention to what is going on. I am reading,
“An Alter in the World” looking for you everywhere in everything and yet
the reality is, monstrous things are taking place all the time. How do
they go together?
As my week continued the thoughts of beauty kept coming to my mind. Look
for beauty. Ok, I will do that.
Keeping that in mind, I started reading another book that is intriguing
me called, “Thin Places”. In this memoir the word mess or messiness is
on many pages in many of the chapters. Then at some point I began taking
the word beauty and messiness and put them together although that seemed
odd-but I paid attention.
Although I have not come to a final conclusion about all the things the
Lord has in store for me concerning this, what I do realize is that in
the midst of life if I don’t look for beauty throughout my day, I can
easily go on a downward spiral only thinking about the mess in this
world. The reality is that God’s original plan for the world was perfect
and beautiful, but when sin entered, messiness came with it, so I must
shift and pay attention, so I will find beauty among the mess.
So, if you read last week’s post, how’s it going? Are you finding beauty
in your day?
What struggles are taking place right now in your life? Do they seem
like an oxymoron? What would it be like to have a conversation with God
about what seems not to make sense to you? Even if you can’t come to a
conclusion about what is going on in your life, what would it look like
to move to a deeper trust in God as you go through the process of
discovery
02/22/2010
This week on my early morning drive I glanced in my mirror and what
did I catch but a glimpse of beauty in the sunrise! I can still picture
it, the orange yellow glow of the sun surrounded by spectacular pink
fuchsia. Even though my glimpse was only for a few seconds this
brilliant beauty caught my attention.
Throughout my day this picture of beauty kept coming to my mind. As I
was pondering what I was to pay attention to I was reminded of the
flower that caught my attention in early winter that seemed out of
place. Ah! The reminder to look for beauty …
Interestingly enough I am reading “Captivating” by John and Stasi
Edlredge. Beauty to Unveil was the subtitle of the section I began
reading just only days after seeing this brilliant beauty. Within this
section one of the many things that stirred my heart was this statement,
“Nature is not primarily functional. It is primarily beautiful.” I
continued to read this section with a smile not only on my face but in
my heart. Over the last few years I have enjoyed my early morning walks
so much and enjoyed the many things that God has created. For me it was
a delight just to be observing it and paying attention to what God might
be speaking to my heart about in those moments….whether it be through
the sounds of the animals in the pasture, the fragrances that seemed
astounding, or to the words in the music that touched me deeply on my
MP3 player, and yes, even the crickets that sometimes seemed annoying.
But when I read the statement above it all seemed to come together, when
I am walking I am absorbing beauty. What doesn’t one like and become
thrilled over, in beauty?
Beauty is all around us if we look for it, not only in nature but in
people as well.
Are you looking for beauty? What would it be like in the evening to
reflect and ask God where there was beauty in your day? Even further how
could you be looking for beauty in the moment you are in? What would it
look like to celebrate that beauty? What would you be missing if you
didn’t look for beauty in your day? If you do not journal, I would ask
that you consider doing that for the next week, only if it is to write
about the beauty that you see in your day. (Even if you put it on a post
it note and place it somewhere that you can see it!)
“Beauty is the essence of God.”
Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in
the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty
of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
02/15/2010
Responding…
Every moment can be new; it’s how we choose to live in it. It’s how we
choose to respond to a situation that makes it what it will become for
us.
I had been feeling a little blue, wondering if it was lack of Vitamin D
from the sun because I hadn’t been taking my daily walks…or maybe it was
because I had been too lazy to exercise and I was keeping those
endorphins from doing their job. Another thought that occurred to me was
that, maybe I was just tired of winter and ready for summer-yes, I can
easily skip spring and go right into summer, because that for me, means
it’s getting closer to a week at the beach!
These past several weeks though as I have been reading and reflecting on
many things, God’s providence has been very evident. There have been
many writings from others that God has used to stir me and to
self-reflect on what has been taking place in my heart. The outward
circumstances may have had an influence but it is still my choice how I
responded to whatever is going on in my life.
Not too long ago I asked the Lord to give my heart a jump start,
interestingly enough I had written that in my journal one morning and as
I paid attention that day He began that gentle work. As circumstances
arise I have been making the choice to respond with hope, faith and
love, and trusting Him as His word invites us to.
How are you doing right now? Are you in a place where you feel “blue” or
“down”? What would it be like to go to the Lord and ask him to show you
what is taking place inside you and maybe even jump start your heart?
Where are you paying attention to God at work in your life? Every moment
can be new, how will you choose to live in it?
02/08/2010
“Every opportunity is pregnant with possibility.”
Early Friday morning I left to run some errands so I would be able to
accomplish everything I hoped before the snow storm hit. First stop,
WalMart. As I pulled in the parking lot I was delighted to get “a front
row seat”. “Good” I thought, this will help expedite my day. I gathered
my things from the car and greeted the lady who parked beside me. We
made a few comments back and forth about the weather and I headed
inside. After grabbing a cart and proceeding through the door, I stopped
at the greeter with a smile and a “Good Morning” as I waited for her to
mark my returns. At that point she began…
First she apologized that she was not ready for me and that she wasn’t
going to be there in a few days. I showed my concern and for her and
began to ask a few questions. Then for about the next ten minutes or so
she shared with me many things about her life… I thought about the quote
above and knew that this was one of those “pregnant opportunities.” In
this instance, a time to listen, to show concern and to offer prayer. I
could tell how important it was for her to have someone take the time to
be available.
I walked away thinking how interesting it is to me how many people just
want you to listen. Other than the lady above, there were several in my
day on Friday-total strangers, but they just had this need to have
conversation. Even though I had lots to accomplish I stopped and
welcomed the opportunity…
When you are out and about, have you ever thought about opportunities
that are pregnant with possibilities? What possibilities might God be
allowing in your life to share concern for another? In my observation
there is a deep need in this world for people to be heard. Sometimes
they just want to share what is going on in their life and for someone
not to just “fix” what ever is going on. The next time someone wants to
share, what would it be like to open your heart and just listen even if
it’s a total stranger?
02/01/2010
“Gratitude requires awareness”
Sometimes the simplest statements have such a profound meaning. This
statement for me has done that. After I wrote it in my journal I knew
that I needed to pay attention to what was taking place in my heart. As
I was in quiet with the Lord, what kept running through my mind was, “I
think I am a grateful person but is there more? Lord, more that you want
me to pay attention to concerning gratitude?”
It was interesting as I sat before the Lord in the quiet, what came to
mind next. It was a circumstance where a friend of mine took time out of
their day to connect with someone else, to carry on a conversation of
genuine concern for a few minutes and even time to laugh.
After that thought came to mind, it’s as if a light bulb went off,
gratitude just isn’t for us to be thankful to the Lord for the good
things He gives us, but we must share with others the gratefulness in
our hearts for what they are doing-showing acts of love. This brings to
mind the scripture that we are to consider how we may spur one another
on toward love and good deeds.
The day that all this took place I had the opportunity to thank my
friend for taking the time to show concern for someone else. This may
seem like a simple thing. But in the fast paced life style we live in,
we have no idea what it could mean to someone to say, “I saw what you
did and want to encourage you that it was meaningful, even if you didn’t
realize it.”
What would it look like to be more aware of gratefulness in your life?
Where does gratitude show in your life? Where have you urged someone on
to love and good deeds?
01/18/2010
Spectacular sunset…
Last week on Wednesday evening the sunset was absolutely breathtaking.
It almost seemed as if the clouds were glowing like embers from a fire.
Beautiful shimmering orange, magnificent rosy pink and illuminating
radiant yellow filled the lengthy strings of multiple clouds above the
skyline. At that moment, I took the gift of lingering and observing the
beauty of the sky-I knew that it would not last long. I just kept
staring at it and breathing, I was captivated by the splendor I was able
to observe. Almost as I mentioned a few weeks ago, this is etched in my
mind and I hope that it is a picture I will not forget. The interesting
thing was, had I not come outside and someone point it out to me, I
would have been unaware that this beautiful sunset was taking place just
on the other side of the walls that surrounded me.
On the drive home, pondering this spectacular sunset, I got to thinking
about God’s orchestrated beauty that is taking place all around us that
we are unaware of. Many times we can focus so easily on the messiness in
this world, we don’t take time to think about the many gifts that are in
front of us and even further the gifts of unseen beauty that is taking
place “on the other side of the wall” or “on the other side of the
world.”
As you read this, what comes to your mind? The next time something
beautiful is taking place what will you do? Has there been something
spectacular that took place in your life that at some point you were
unaware of, and then somewhere along the line, found out the
orchestrated beauty that had been taking place? What would it be like to
thank God for the unseen things that are taking place all around you?
…thank you Lord for the beauty of our world that is seen and unseen.
*An oversight…in last week’s post I stated that I am reading the book
called “Holy Longings”. The book is actually titled “Holy Invitations”.
My week was so full of readings about longings that I quoted the wrong
title. Please accept my apologies for that mistake.
01/11/2010
“Holy Longing”, “Holy Available”…these are the titles of two books I
am reading (“Holy Available” was previously titled “The Beautiful
Fight”.)
There is much God has used already in my life through these books in
powerful ways; my heart is full of gratitude for that. However, when I
ponder just the titles of these books, several questions come to mind….
What Holy longings do I have? How will I move toward them?
Have I considered that God is longing to do something in me and through
me in the midst of whatever is going on in my life?
Do I make myself Holy available to God? If I am, God will be able to
mold and shape me in to the image of Christ. If I am not, then what is
the resistance?
Consider asking yourself these same questions. What will your prayer be
like with God as you sit with Him today in light of the answers….
01/04/2010
Is there something that has come into your life that you have
remembered so vividly that it is etched in your mind and in your heart?
There are many things that I enjoy remembering and some things I wish I
could forget. Then there are those things that are so imprinted in my
mind that I can almost take myself to the place it impacted me. I can
remember precisely where I was standing, how the air felt that
surrounded me and exactly what I was doing when it penetrated my heart.
I sense things like that God has imprinted on my heart so that I will
not forget.
One particular imprint of truth for me was one early morning on a
beautiful summer day. The air was warm and I was standing on the west
side of my house. My husband and I were trying desperately to stain the
deck before the sun came around and chased us to the north side. We were
listening to a previously recorded message on the radio about change in
the world. The speaker talked about changes that we would like to see in
the world, the government, our community, within our family and then he
made this statement: “If we want change in our world it must begin with
us.” This truth kept rolling through my head and then penetrated my
heart. Change must take place within me before I can do anything about
what it is I hope will change within my realm. This truth now has a
place deep in my soul that I know is stirred by God, so that it will
bring Him glory and cause good in the world.
Are there vivid memories for you that had a similar impact? If so, what
changes might God be stirring in your heart that He wants you to pay
attention to? In the choices you make how can it make a difference in
this world? Could it be that the changes you sense God prompting in you
may be the beginning of change in your world, in this world?
12/28/2009
On Christmas Eve Eve, I went on my weekly early morning run to a
local wholesale club. Over the past couple of months it has been
beautiful to watch God at work as I paid attention to His movement in a
relationship that has developed between me and an employee there. On
that particular day we shared a warm Christmas greeting and had a brief,
but delightful conversation.
As I was walking through the store, I had an overflowing joyful heart
reminiscing about the things that God orchestrated over these last
couple of months in that relationship.
After about twenty minutes of gathering the last minute things for
Christmas I headed for the checkout line. In my joyful state of mind I
didn’t pay attention to the signs that say “Open” or “Closed”-I just
looked for what seemed to be the shortest line. While I was standing
there observing the people around me I began to sense something wasn’t
quite right in front of me. A particular customer was not a happy camper
on this Christmas Eve Eve morning, not at all-I was, at that point, in
the midst of a first hand observation of a real live “Scrooge”.
I found out quite quickly that not only was this man angry by the choice
words he used as he spouted at the cashier -but he stated firmly that he
shouldn’t have to wait, he felt discriminated against and that he wanted
to speak to the manager. My heart immediately went out to the cashier-I
paid attention to what she said and how she responded. I found out that
both of us-Mr. Scrooge and I were in a line that was closed and she was
doing us a favor by waiting on us. Right away I moved to the next line,
as well as transitioning to my Momma Bear mode of wanting to protect
her. Verbally he continued his anger and frustration and did indeed talk
to the manager. My heart was hoping that this cashier would be able to
let this angry man episode go-on this Christmas Eve Eve morning.
This continued on my mind throughout the day, I shared with some dear
friends that I felt bad for the cashier and sad for the man. One of
those dear friends reminded me to pray for the man.
And so I did. The next morning in my quiet time he was still on my mind
and so I asked of the Lord-what do you want me to see in this, what is
it that I am to learn and pay attention to? In pondering, this is what
gently stirred in my heart…
…could it be that not only does that man not give love, but he is not a
recipient of love either? After that settled a bit, my heart shifted and
went out to him, especially when I thought: Oh, to live without love, I
can not imagine...I prayed for him on that day, that in some way, love
would touch his soul…
When you encounter people like this, what is your response? What would
love look like in this situation? What would it be like to love people
right where they are without anything attached? What would it take to
move to a place like this? What might your prayer be like now before you
encounter someone like this? Could it be that God wants to show his love
to someone through you and that you may be the only person that does?
For me this encounter had such a huge impact-that if ever I would meet
this man again, I very well may strike up a conversation with him and
meet him/love him right where he is- so that the love God has for my
soul, that has so deeply touched me, may in turn, touch him …
12/21/2009
When I think of the scripture in Luke that says, “But Mary treasured
up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I think of this
song as she witnessed first hand the many things that took place as the
earthly mother of our Savior…
Mary Did You Know by Michael English:
Mary did you know that your baby boy
would someday walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy
would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy
has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
will soon deliver you.
Mary did you know that your baby boy
will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy
will calm a storm with His hand?
Did you know that your baby boy
has walked where angels trod?
When you've kissed your little baby
then you've kissed the face of God.
Mary, did you know...?
Mary, did you know...?
The blind will see, the deaf will hear
the dead will live a-gain
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak
the praises of the Lamb.
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
will one day rule the nations?
What stirs in your heart when you hear this song? Do you picture some
of the movies that have been made about the birth and life of Jesus? In
that place, can you put yourself alongside of Mary and consider what it
would have been like? Can you sit for a few moments and ask God what is
it that He wants you to pay attention to in this place and through this
song?
May your Christmas be filled with many joyful moments as you celebrate
the birth of Jesus, the one who came to offer the gift of salvation.
Merry Christmas and much love to you :)
12/14/2009
Remember…
As I was sitting last week having my quiet time, only by the glow of the
Christmas tree, I could hear the gentle patter of rain on the side of
the house. It was a beautiful time with the Lord. He began stirring in
my heart more of what I had been paying attention to over the last
several weeks.
Over the weekend, I woke with this phrase on my mind: The Good the Bad
and the Ugly. For weeks now God has been bringing to mind some good
memories from my “younger years”. Things that I hadn’t thought about in
a long time…certain songs would trigger my remembrance of dancing with
my dad as a little girl, which led me to thinking about the on going
game of tag we used to play around the dining room table. There were
also the fun imaginative times that I played with Barbie dolls and baby
dolls. Then I remember getting a real “baby doll” when my nephews were
born and as I thought about them it reminded me of the enjoyable times
we had together as we grew up. God also brought to mind my teenage years
and the friends I had in high school and when I met my husband. He also
reminded me of a friendship I had forgotten about that was very
different from the norm, it was simply enjoyable. All sweet, sweet
memories. I am not sure why I shifted at some point in early adulthood
from remembering the good things to basically only remembering the bad
things, but I guess it came from that victim hood mentality that we can
easily move toward and can stay trapped in.
Two circumstances within the last week triggered the remembrance of some
very painful times in my life-the bad and the ugly. I didn’t like being
there and the pain was extremely real. I didn’t stay in that place long,
I think less than a day, but I knew I needed to pay attention to what
God wanted to do in my heart…remember.
Remember that He knew what would transpire in my life before even one
day had taken place. Remember that there are good times to hold onto in
my heart and that He can even take the bad and ugly things and turn them
for good. Remember that I live in that place of grace and forgiveness.
Remember that I need to do my part and not stay trapped in the bad times
but to move into that place of even deeper trust with Him and rejoice in
the life He has given me.
When you sit in the quiet, what do you hear? If you don’t sit in the
quiet, what is the resistance? Are there things that our gracious
heavenly Father wants you to pay attention to that would be a place of
healing for you? If painful thoughts come, what would it feel like to
surrender them to God?
As I finish writing this I know in my heart that I am dearly and deeply
loved by my Wonderful… Gracious… Heavenly Father--do you?
12/07/2009
Jealousy vs Celebration
Some time ago I was thinking about a particular circumstance and
realized that I was celebrating the beauty of the situation instead of
being jealous. As I began to look at it more and more, I realized that
years ago I would have looked at this same situation very differently.
My husband has blessed me in many ways. One of those ways is that for
fifteen years, as our children were growing up, I was given the
privilege to be a stay at home mom. What came with that though were
financial sacrifices. We purchased property and placed a 14 x 66 foot
mobile home on it and lived in it for eleven years. That became a
challenge as our family grew to five and we added two German Shepherds
to our little home! During that time of our lives, we would visit
friends that had larger attractive homes. I certainly appreciated their
generosity and hospitality, but what took place in me was a stirring of
jealousy. I started desiring a larger home because… “we could have lots
of people over; we could give the children their own rooms; since we
home schooled, I just thought it would be great to have a separate
school room; oh, and the dogs would have their own room too—the
basement!” that was the outward part that looked reasonable and
understandable. As I look back on this now, my inside heart motives were
not pure-I wanted the things that others had-just to please the desire
that wasn’t a necessity.
Through a not-so-easy process of checking my motives in almost all
situations and circumstances, God has moved me to a beautiful place of
contentment and celebration.
Recently I was in Cape May with a group of wonderful friends. We were
blessed to be able to stay in a beautiful home while we were there. At
one point during our stay, we went for a drive to look at many
absolutely beautiful homes. During that time, God reminded me that a
shift has taken place in my heart from being jealous of people who own
such beautiful homes to a place of celebration for them-even though I
have no idea who they are.
Where is a place that you recognize jealousy in your life? What would it
take for you in a given situation to move from jealousy to celebration?
In the process, and possibly the struggle to get there, what do you
sense God saying to you and where do you sense Him loving you in the
midst if it?
Ironically, the reverse has happened in my life…although I absolutely
adore hosting people in my house, I would be content with having as
little to take care of as possible. For me the focus has changed,
instead of loving and desiring things, I love to love people as God has
invited me to do.
11/30/2009
Interestingly enough as I was in conversation with God about what I
would write on this week, the question that I usually ask at the end,
came to mind at the beginning.
I sensed that I should write about resistance and as I was reading an
Advent devotional it spoke of God’s redemptive work in the world. That’s
when the question came to mind.
Is there a resistance to God’s redemptive plan in your life?
As I was considering resistance, this picture came to my mind….an eagle
trying to fly in the direction he wants to go and is barley able to move
because the force of the wind is keeping him almost at a stand still,
even to the point of hovering. Have you ever witnessed this? Maybe this
is a picture of something that has taken place in your life…
When watching the eagle, it is obvious he has a place that he intends to
go but struggles ferociously with the wind. Is there a place you want to
go that there seems to be an unruly resistance? Maybe there is something
underlying that you need to be in prayer about with God concerning this
resistance. Could it be that if you turned God’s way and went with Him
that it would be a beautiful picture of soaring under His wings?
Why resist God? Is there anything to be afraid of? What would it look
like to surrender to God’s redemptive plan? How would it feel? Could it
be that we are resisting Him to the point that there is something even
greater than we could ever ask or imagine if we would not resist?
He has a redemptive plan for each of our lives according to Psalm 139 (vs
13-16) and He knew it before one day came to be.
The scriptures tell us “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to
give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in
heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Are you asking?
11/23/2009
Thanksgiving…
Another year to celebrate Thanksgiving, something to be thankful for in
its self!
As I think back over the years and the many different places that I have
celebrated this holiday, it delights my heart. As a child, I spent many
years at my Aunt and Uncle’s farm. This was a fun time, we not only had
plenty of enjoyable food but we were allowed to go in my Aunt’s living
room! The room that was, at any other time of the year, a room you only
went through in order to get to the freezer outside of “Stell’s”
kitchen. That room in itself was a unique early turn of the century
kitchen and was something that I would have loved to have played in if
my Aunt would have thought it would have been ok…
Life then was simple and easy. The only thing that concerned me was who
would be there to play with. I would look forward to seeing the cows in
the barn, climb in the silo and play house in the corn bin. Climbing my
favorite tree was a treat too! Because my only sister was fourteen years
older than me, and the neighbors didn’t have children my age, holidays
were very important to me, those special days I got to be with a few
that were my own age.
Of course as I got older, as with everything, life changed. Sometimes it
was more difficult if someone that we loved was no longer with us, but I
think for me, it is like anything, it depends on how you view
change--sitting in what we no longer had and being sad or celebrating
the life of the one we loved and loving what and who we could still
celebrate.
At this time in my life it is interesting how things have changed. What
I used to look forward to, being with those my own age on the holidays,
has actually reversed. I now savor the time spent with the family that I
used to escape from at the holidays, in order to be with those I didn’t
have other days of the year. God has brought to my mind that He has
given me two great gifts. My family that I can celebrate many things
with on those same holidays and that every other day of the year I get
to spend it with wonderful friends!
During this week, what can you be thankful for? What can you celebrate?
What fond memories do you have as a child? Is there something God wants
to remind you of as you think about your childhood celebrating holidays?
What was the most important part of Thanksgiving for you? What will your
prayer be like concerning Thanksgiving as you sit with God in quiet?
A prayer adapted from a Gary Thomas quote:
Gracious Heavenly Father,
As change takes place in our lives, may we view it through the lens of
celebration. May we become lost in your wonder and convinced of your
astounding generosity, your marvelous mercy and your gigantic grace as
we celebrate Thanksgiving 2009.
11/16/2009
God is working in and around us all of the time, so recently a few
dear friends and I began getting together to take a deeper look at
helping us look more closely at His activity. We choose a book written
by Gary Thomas to help us along.
“Still in Flesh” was the title of a chapter I read this week. Many
statements throughout the pages made me stop and ponder. This is one in
particular: God’s glory is recognized not just through forgiven
people but through transformed and compelling people-this is one of the
ways he makes himself visible to many who would never pick up a Bible.
A few paragraphs later Gary makes this statement and follows it with a
question: The ascended Christ still reigns. Do others see that truth in
you and me today?”
So that is what I am doing-- ask myself what truths do people see in my
words and actions? Are they the ugly fleshly responses which show that
transformation has not taken place in my life or can people see how
Christ has shaped and changed my heart and see that I love him and am
compelled to share his great love with others?
What truths do people see in you?
What would it look like to show God’s glory in a situation?
What does transformed and compelling look like to you?
Over the next few days take note of how you respond in a difficult
situation. Pay attention to where God is active in you, either in the
situation or after--even if it doesn’t go well. In either circumstance
what would your prayer to God be like about who you are and how you
respond?
In all of this it takes me to a quote I think of often: “Preach the
gospel and if necessary use words.”
11/09/2009
Humor…
Life gets tough sometimes and we can get bogged down with the simplest
of things. If we allow ourselves to step back and take a look at our
life, we allow ourselves the opportunity to realize many things.
Recently I was rereading a journal entry from about nine months ago. At
that time I was writing about circumstances that involved innocent
humor. As I was paying attention to what God was doing in my life, this
humor stirred something in me. I realized as wrote, that humor hadn’t
been in my life at this capacity for quite a while and I thanked God for
bringing it into my life. These circumstances lasted for about a month
or so and it gave lightness to my heart.
Three months after I had written that in my journal, a good friend of
mine sensed God prompting her to ask me if I would like to write comedy
for an event at our church. When she did, I was perplexed at the thought
of it because I had never written comedy, only reflective articles. I
thanked her for asking me and said I would give it a try! Well, to my
surprise, after sitting down with the writing team and given a prompt, I
wrote my first comedy skit. There were tweaks, suggestions and additions
but all of it in the context of light heartedness and a lot of humor!!
The skit, when preformed, was hilarious
Now humor has become a part of my life on a daily basis. I consider it a
wonderful gift from God. Not just the humor, but being able to recognize
that it was missing, and that unknown to me, He was working toward it
being part of my life.
I have since written another skit, and over the last eight weeks have
been given the privilege of directing it to prepare for an event at
church where there will be a whole evening of humor.
For me, I found out that the gift of humor was missing in my life. Had I
not journaled or reread what I had written, I may have missed this gift.
Consider stepping back and asking yourself what thing or things are
missing from your life?
What might your prayer to God be about this?
How would it feel to have this in your life?
Is there a place God is working in your life that you need to pay
attention to?
11/02/2009
Anticipation…Expectation…Surprise!
Many times I share things that God speaks to my heart from my daily
walks. As with most days, my norm is to walk in the morning, but there
was a week or so during the summer I walked in the early evening. What
was different about that week or so was an anticipation that would arise
in me. A feeling, of sorts, within me would take place as I would
approach the top of the hill. Just before I made the turn to head back
down for the next lap, anticipation would arise in me, like that of
seeing a Hot Air Balloon. I can not adequately explain this welling up
in me that would take place, but I would call it a place of struggle
that would go between anticipation and expectation. On one hand, it was
a thrilling feeling of anticipation that when I would turn, there would
be a balloon on the horizon. But then, when I did turn and it wasn’t
there, I would have the sadness of disappointment realizing that I had
moved to a place of expectation. You see, during many months out of the
year, if the weather is just right, we will see Hot Air Balloons rising
and gently gliding east or west from a mountain off in the distance. So
it wasn’t a place of unrealistic expectation, I think for me, it was a
lesson about the difference of these two things in life: anticipation
and expectation.
Questions that arise in my mind about this experience…
What places do I think I am anticipating when really I am expecting?
How can I recognize the difference?
As I think about reactions to circumstances over the last week, where
specifically did I put expectations on a situation?
What would it look like to live life with anticipation and not
expectation?
I had wanted to write about this experience for some time but couldn’t
put it all together until recently. On my morning walk a few weeks ago,
wouldn’t you know a surprise was in store for me, as I turned without
any expectation, there hovering over the mountain was a Hot Air Balloon!
What I walk away with from this experience is; if I can be in a place of
living content in all circumstances, without expectation, I may very
well be in store for a surprise!!
10/18/2009
“The greatest freedom any of us have is the ability to be who we are.
If for any reason, we abandon our own purpose to please someone else we
imprison ourselves.”
In what ways are you living out who God created you to be?
What stirs in your heart when you read this quote?
What would it look like to live in this freedom?
10/12/2009
Over the past six months or so I have been reading from a book/Bible
that is called, Solo. Verses in this book are from the version of The
Message. It is self described as “An Uncommon Devotional.” That I would
say is a very good description…
This week I was reading Romans 14 and the particular verse that grabbed
my heart was verse 13: “Forget about deciding what’s right for each
other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in
the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.”
Wow-in this world, as difficult as life can be, I certainly do not want
to make someone’s life more difficult. As a matter of fact, in my
control and fix default, maybe that’s what I am doing-getting in
someone’s way and making life more difficult.
My journal entry after reading and pondering this: “I pray dear Lord,
that I would not get in your way as I am with someone-that I would move
through life consciously responding with your love and not getting in
the way of what you want to do.”
These are further reflection questions that helped me to pay attention
to how I respond now and how God is speaking to my heart about the
character change He wants me to move toward.
1. Why do people insist on their own way about debatable matters?
2. When you’re critical, what words and tone do you usually use?
3. When you are being condescending, what facial expression and arm
gestures do you use?
Moving a bit further with these questions asking myself:
1. How does God want me to respond to people who insist on their own way
in debatable matters?
2. What would it be like to not be critical to someone in this situation
but to ask them questions to help them pay attention to God’s voice in
this matter?
3. What would it look like to be less condescending and more grace
filled in my responses?
10/05/2009
Psalm 131 1 GOD, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of
the mountain.
I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose
plans.
2 I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a
baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content.
3 Wait, Israel, for GOD. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!
As I was reading the words to this Psalm I moved to a place of forming
them into questions…
God, do I try to rule the roost?
Do I want to be king (queen) of the mountain?
Do I meddle where I have no business?
Am I fantasizing about grandiose plans?
Do I keep my feet on the ground?
Is my heart cultivated to the point of being quiet?
Am I like a baby content it’s mother’s arms?
Is my soul like a baby content?
Am I waiting for You, waiting with hope, hope now and hope always?
Sitting in quiet with God I pondered the answers to these questions. I
knew that I could not answer yes to all of them. What kept stirring
within me though, was this part of the Psalm: “Like a baby content in
it’s mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content”.
This is a beautiful visual for me. This is where I want to be in my
relationship with God, where I can say that my soul is a baby content.
Over the past few months as I look back at where God has been working in
my life, I realize that I have been moving to a place of deeper trust in
Him. As I do, my soul moves closer to a sense of security. I am shifting
to that place of contentment.
What stirs most in your heart as you read this Psalm? Consider asking
yourself these questions too. What do you sense God saying to you? What
would it take for you to move to a place of contentment like this?
9/28/2009
On one of my early morning walks I was listening to a message on my
MP3 player and at the same time I was in conversation with God about
what He was speaking to my heart about. As I approached the bottom of my
driveway I began to smell an aroma that was extremely pleasing to my
senses. The aroma was so wonderful that I continued to take deeper and
deeper breaths until I couldn’t take in any more. Finally, I exhaled so
that I could breathe in this wonderful fragrance again. This delightful
scent was some sort of mixture of perfume and flower. I can not fully
describe it, but it was lovely, if I could have captured it and put it
in a bottle I would have!! For me, it was the most delightful aroma I
have ever smelled. The down side is that it only lasted about two
minutes and then faded away.
I began to ponder the verses that I have heard in scripture about the
aromas that are pleasing to the Lord. I was imagining that if that aroma
was so pleasing to me, how much more pleasing is the aroma that God
delights in when his children are being the “fragrance of life” to those
around them. 2 Corinthians 2:14-16
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in
Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge
of him. For we are to God, the aroma of Christ among those who are being
saved and those who are perishing. To one we are the smell of death; to
the other the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?
Have you experienced someone that spreads the fragrance of knowledge of
God? How did that impact you? As you read these verses, what do you
sense God speaking to you about?
What is your most favorite fragrance? God allows us most wonderful
pleasures; one of them is our sense of smell. One of my most favorite
smells is that of a rose, hand picked from my father’s garden. Can you
sit for a moment or two and imagine your most favorite fragrance, then
delight in the gift of your senses?
9/21/2009
The cooler temperatures remind me that there are not only seasons in
our year, but seasons of our life as well. In this season of my life,
there have been a lot of people that helped me to make a difference in
the lives of many people through the mission trip I was on this summer.
The relationships we built with the students in Central America were
exceptional. As we spent those two weeks together we bonded to a level
that is hard to explain. Early one morning when we were having worship,
I was reminded that as followers of Christ, God weaves our hearts
together through the Holy Spirit similar to using a needle and thread.
This was a visual in my mind and helped me in a huge way as we struggled
at times to communicate.
At the beginning of our time together I was amazed at how much the
students already knew in just 4 weeks of training. They could read and
write at a basic level. And even though it became frustrating to them at
times to communicate with us, because they just couldn’t get the right
words, they pressed on. The two biggest things my students wanted from
me were to be patient with them and to have as much conversation as
possible. Our hearts were so tender for them that patience was never an
issue, after all we had come to teach them the thing we do everyday,
speak English. If we were not in the classroom, or playing games, I
would do my best to ask questions, something I really like to do J. Our
conversations included the differences in our cultures, our personal
lives, our families, our governments and most importantly where and how
they are going to serve God to further His kingdom. Through their
diligence over those two weeks they became much clearer in their
conversation.
As I grew to know and love the students the most evident thing to me was
their desire to serve God without hesitation. No question in their
hearts or minds about serving God on the mission field. So when I read
this quote recently, I knew it really described the hearts of the
students. “In many cases, history could have turned out quite
differently. But these [women] did not allow themselves to be limited by
the voices of cultural norms, personal convenience, or fear. Rather,
they allowed God to put a package together in their lives, and they
responded when he called them to use it.”
I was blessed with the privilege to serve God in this way. My time in
Guatemala was a life changing experience for certain and I will never be
the same again. Eternity will be different because of the sacrifices of
many and my heart is grateful that so many partnered with me in this
season of my life.
9/14/2009
Trust
As I have processed all that I experienced in Guatemala, there are many
things I walk away with. One in particular is a different level of trust
I had in the Lord while I was there. This is something I journaled as I
was pondering about this trust….
“Since I had very little control over anything while I was there, I had
two choices, I could worry or surrender any time I was afraid. So I made
a decision early on, moving quite quickly to trusting God at a level
that I had never done before. After all, I couldn’t speak the language,
I wasn’t in control of driving the vehicle we were in, anywhere outside
the home, I had to depend on our new dear friends to help communicate
for me, and even though I didn’t have to eat the food that was placed
before me, I needed to trust God that even if I got sick He would take
care of me. Interestingly enough, by the time we were at the end of the
trip I had moved to a level of pure peace, knowing that if God were to
take me home, I had full trust in him because it was my time. This will
impact me the rest of my life because I will be able to reflect on that
trust in a time that it would be easy to worry and be fearful. I will be
able to ask myself, “Can I trust God in this situation just like I did
while I was in Guatemala?”
Recently when I read this quote from Ruth Hailey Barton it reminded me
of what I wrote just a few weeks ago on this same issue of trust:
“She lost her opportunity to trust God and see him come through at his
best.”
On further reflection of this quote, in conjunction with the question I
asked myself above, comes a different level of relationship with the
Lord. Not only do I want to be able to say yes, that I can trust God,
like I did while I was in Guatemala, but I want to be able to come to a
level of trusting so much that I watch Him come through at His best. For
my problem is that here in the states, it would be easy for me to take
control of a situation and lose the opportunity to watch Him come
through at His best.
What level of trust do you have in the Lord? Is it only when you have
control and things are going well? Or maybe you have been somewhere on
this journey of life where you didn’t have control and you saw God come
through at His best? If you did, what can you do to remind yourself of
that place? How could you fill in the blank: Can I trust God in this
situation even if_________?
I pray that you will experience the opportunity to trust God and see Him
come through at His best.
9/07/2009
How does God want to speak to you today through this Psalm?
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, LORD.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O LORD, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
After you have had time to consider this Psalm, what does it tell your
heart about our Creator? What does it tell you about yourself? Does it
assure you of anything? Or maybe it frightens you? For me, it assures me
of the purpose of my existence and the intricate, intimate love of my
heavenly Father.
One thing in this Psalm that is unexpected though comes in verse 19. I
have often wondered why there was so much assurance and encouragement in
the Psalm and then surprisingly it moves to a level that seems out of
place and a bit confusing. After pondering and learning more, I walk
away with these thoughts... The writer speaks of the great intimate love
that He knows of His heavenly Father, the One who knows every detail of
his life before his existence. He is so secure in his relationship with
Him that he tells Him what is taking place within himself yet is open to
God showing him if he is wrong for thinking such things. I have heard it
said many times over, there is no greater love than this of my Creator
and the more I journey with Him the more I know it is oh so true, even
in the midst of my humanness…..
8/30/2009
On the way home the other afternoon I was listening to a country
music station. Two particular songs that were back to back stirred my
heart. One of them was a conversation between two men, the younger one
was talking about all the “stuff” that was happening in his life. After
listening to his buddy, the seasoned man said, “That sounds like life to
me”. Then in the chorus one of the lines was: “The only thing in life
that is certain is uncertainty”. To one extent this may not be
comforting, but the reality is, if we set ourselves up to expect
certainty then we will almost always be let down. Life is hard more
times than not. However, if we are trusting God in the uncertainty of
every moment, we live in a place of pure peace.
Do you live your life in the place of expectation and certainty? What
would it be like to live your life placing every day before God trusting
Him in the uncertainty of life? What would it take for you to move to
that place?
8/17/2009
As I pay attention to where God is at work in my life, it seems as if
while I was in Guatemala I would see God’s providence on a daily basis.
During my quiet time I would reflect on the activities that took place
and where I would see the hand of God that particular day.
One example I want to share is that a dear friend of mine created a
unique journal for me to write my thoughts in while I was on my trip.
The uniqueness came every few pages where she inserted things like
pictures, quotes or poems. Some of these were humorous, some serious and
some thought provoking.
Just a few days before we were to depart, I had been pondering what God
wanted me to take away from the experience. Even though I knew there
would be many things, on this particular day this is what he had in
store for me when I opened the journal and read this:
May all that is eternal in me welcome the wonder of this new day, the
field of brightness it creates, offering time for each new thing to
arise and illuminate.
May my mind be alive today to the invisible geography that invites me to
new frontiers, to break the shell of yesterday’s, to risk being
disturbed and changed.
May I have the courage today to live the life that I would love, to
postpone my dream no longer. But do at last what I came here for and
waste my heart on fear no more.
I have read it over and again and have made it a prayer, taking each
part of it and being intentional about what God wants to stir within me,
whether I am here OR half way around the world.
Even though you may have not recently been to another country, is there
any part of this that stirs something within you? What would it be like
for you to change each section and phrase it as a question to yourself?
Is there anything that God is asking you to be intentional about? What
will you do to make it true for your life?
8/10/2009
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday,
ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around
life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for
you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted
to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix
your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily
recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the
culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity,
God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12:1-2 The Message
I had not read this verse in The Message prior to a few months ago. It
has really captured my heart. Somewhere along my journey I got this
notion that in order to please God, I had to do things. Maybe it is
because of the culture we live in… performance is what gets us to the
next step or we get a sense of accomplishment. As I take this verse and
think about really living it and placing it as an offering before God it
shifts my thinking and “doing”. If I want to honor God in all I do,
wouldn’t that be the things of everyday life that is described in this
verse?
What would it be like to take your everyday, ordinary life and place it
before God as an offering?
8/03/2009
"A prayer…."
Dear Elohim,
So much I have missed along this journey of life. I do not want regrets.
I ask you Lord to give me back what I have allowed the “locusts to
devour”. Help me to savor every moment by being fully present, capturing
what it is you want to give in each circumstance. That I will clearly
pay attention to where you are at work seeking for 100% trust in you.
Not a life with my eyes closed but a life I live wide awake.
Are you living wide awake?
7/27/2009
“Just be and see…”
This thought came to me the other day when I was spending time with God
in quiet. As a gracious Father, He has been revealing to me how much of
my life I have not surrendered to Him. Just when I think I’ve
surrendered all that there is to surrender, He gently and tenderly
reveals something else. Lately He has been revealing to me how many
places in my life that I try to fix and control. At times that can
become overwhelming, so when this thought stirred in my mind it became
something I can recall and will help me to move to a place where I can
“Be still and know He is God” and surrender to Him the fixing and
controlling-after all, I know that He is in ultimate control.
Is there something that God has been bringing to your attention that you
haven’t surrendered? What would it be like to just be and see, with out
fixing and controlling?
Have you been at the place recently where God invites you to be still
and know that He is God?
7/20/2009
Kermit the Frog Here….
As a child I watched Sesame Street quite often. Until a couple of days
ago I hadn’t thought about Kermit, Big Bird or Miss Piggy in quite some
time.
We visited friends over the weekend in their quite mountain home. It is
decorated uniquely with lots of different kinds of things, one of them
being frogs! Throughout the house there are frogs of all sizes, shapes
and colors.
At one point during our time there I was gazing at some of the
decorations in our room and I noticed a book that caught my attention.
It was a picture of Kermit the Frog and it was titled, “Before You
Leap.” I picked it up hoping to find other quotes or sayings that might
inspire me to write. Lo and behold there was something else that God had
in store for me as I began to flip through the book. The pictures of
Kermit and Big Bird among many of the other Muppet characters took me
back to my childhood. I began paying attention to how I felt as I
watched Sesame Street. It was a place of security, giggles and learning.
Even though it was a place of fantasy, there was enough reality and
learning to take into my world. As I ponder the feeling that it gave me,
it was a good place to be and I have found memories of those television
times in my life.
What fond memories of childhood do you have? What would it be like to
reminisce about it for just a little while? What is it that God might
want to touch in your heart about those fond memories?
7/13/2009
The Lord has me in a precious place of noticing things that I
normally wouldn’t pay attention to.
As I was sitting on the beach a few weeks ago during my time with God,
this is the question I asked Him, “Lord, what do you want me to notice?”
As I closed my eyes to pray, the word notice kept coming to mind, so I
purposely paid close attention to what I heard: the waves crashing,
people talking, and the sound of seagulls in the air. Then I moved
further into this place of where I was thinking that even if I weren’t
sitting on the beach, the sand would still be there, the waves would
still crash on shore, the sun would still be shining and there would be
still be people on the beach.
The absence of my Zune (MP3 player) over the last few weeks is another
way that has helped me move to that place of noticing during my morning
walk. One morning last week this is what I noticed: the bleating of
sheep, the cry of a mourning dove, the wake up call of a rooster, the
chirps of the various song birds, the orange hew of slugs, the swish of
horses tails, the brilliant colors of the flowers and oh so much more.
The more I ponder what God is showing me, the more I notice that I am
wide awake to my surroundings and paying attention to what is going on
in the midst of the moment.
In your day, what is going on all the time that you have missed in the
past but could take time to really pay attention to and notice? I
encourage you take some time to write down what you hear and then ask
God what he might be speaking to your heart about.
7/06/2009
Independence over relationship…
“When you choose independence over relationship you become a danger to
each other. Others become objects to be manipulated or managed for your
own happiness. Authority, as you usually think of it, is merely the
excuse the strong use to make others conform to what they want.” The
Shack
This is a powerful statement. A sadness forms in my heart when I read it
because I know at some level it is true for all of us.
Oh Gracious Heavenly Father, may we recognize how destructive it can be
for us to live in independence. May we realize that manipulation is not
the way of true happiness. If we begin to use authority to conform
others to what we want, reveal it to us. May it be that our
relationships are joyful, that true happiness is a result of our
relationship with you and grasp that conformity only comes when we
surrender to you.
